This word, while inconspicuous and feather-light, holds so much weight when used in a relationship.
Have you ever caught yourself saying “whatever” to someone, even just in your mind, while they were voicing something? An opinion, a feeling, a play-by-play of their perspective on an event? What did you really mean when you said “whatever”?
Did you want to explicitly tell them that you didn’t care about what they were trying to share? To minimize their importance to such a low level that it wasn’t even worth a fraction of your attention?
I ask because that’s what it means.
As a mom to teenagers, I dread the day my kids walk away muttering “whatever,” leaving me standing there wondering how to respond. I’ve seen it happen to so many parents around me - in my social circle, at school events, everywhere. Some laugh it off and say, “Kids! You know how they get, moody and all.” Others take it personally and turn to parenting books for answers.
But I don’t think the answer lies in laughing it off - or in the books. I think the “whatever” comes only after they’ve been treated that way repeatedly. The real answer lies in making sure we don’t “whatever” them and their voices.
Kids stop communicating when they sense that their struggles and emotions aren’t as important as the phone Mom is staring at or the podcast Dad is listening to. Friends sense their fading importance when they see you glancing at a menu, checking a text, or looking into the distance while they’re opening up to you. That’s when the “whatever” begins to take root - silently, invisibly.
The single most detrimental thing in any relationship, even a platonic friendship, is “whatever.” That feeling of worthlessness, that hollow emptiness it creates, can break relationships just like that. So how about we try something different?
Silence the noise. Put the phone facedown. Look directly at the person talking to you. Be present. Say “whatever” to anything that takes you away from this moment. And soon enough, your friends, your family, your kids - they will feel the shift.
They’ll know, without a doubt, how much you love and cherish them.
Sweta Shah Sakhpara is a pranic energy therapist and a pranic psychotherapist. She also teaches mindfulness and meditation to kids, adults and families. When she is not doing any of the above, she actively practices being a mindful parent to two kids.
Having learned and practiced pranic healing for ~fifteen years, Sweta has been blessed with the trust of many clients for ailments as simple as a headache to complex ones like Tourette’s syndrome, from depression and anxiety to finding ways to embrace the idea of a new normal with a child being diagnosed on the spectrum. You could read more about her HERE.
