After so many articles... I believe it’s time to tackle one very important topic - you know how these days, everywhere we read, it’s about self-care and self-love, do what you think is right, if it makes you happy, just go ahead & do it. etc.?
I don’t agree with it. And I’ll tell you why...
If your self-care and self-love or self-importance stems from a place of peace and love, it wouldn’t be wrong... but if it stems from a place of anger and the need for revenge, it couldn’t be further from the worst thing ever... for yourself and others involved.
When I say, “do what makes you happy” and my clients hear “do what makes you happy, don’t care how it affects the others,” it hurts my heart. Deeply. Because I said do what makes you happy and somehow it translated into choices that were made to hurt others or make them unhappy.
That doesn’t make sense. That is not sensible.
Yes, others may have hurt you in the past or maybe continuing to hurt you today... but when you choose to let it go and move on, the goal should be to consciously release the hurt, the anger, and the need for revenge.
As an example - and this is a common thing I find lately due to the extended stay-at-home orders, one partner does 80% of the work, the other one just exists (Not true - but has been a topic too many times).
Of course, if it’s true, that isn’t fair and it isn’t always going to be this way.
Show some grace and understand that it is never going to be an exact 50-50; it could be 80-20 today and could be 10-90 some other day.
So, when I tell person A (who does 80%) - take some time for yourself, do what you like, if they decide to turn it into a personal agenda to extract the full 80% they put in, it is not going to work. Simplifying further, person A cooks all the meals in the house by choice but when A needs a break, it doesn’t mean not putting food on the table! They have kids and kids get hungry. It’s not the kids’ fault for how A feels, is it? Person A doesn’t want to cook, they don’t need to, but they can ask person B or the kids to help or just order in?
Let it go doesn’t mean give it up. Let it go, means let go of your hurt and anger. I won’t even ask you to forget what happened... that is not possible if you’ve been hurt deeply... definitely remember it... so you can steer clear of the same cycle repeating itself.
Don’t let go of your good intentions, don’t let go of the love you had for each other, don’t let go of the trust others have... just let go of this need to own the hurt and the anger. Let IT go; IT = Hurt and Anger.
Just. Let. Go. Be free. Show some grace. Because YOU are worth it.
Thank You
Sweta Shah Sakhpara is a pranic energy therapist and a pranic psychotherapist. She also teaches mindfulness and meditation to kids, adults and families. When she is not doing any of the above, she actively practices being a mindful parent to two kids.
Having learned and practiced pranic healing for ~fifteen years, Sweta has been blessed with the trust of many clients for ailments as simple as a headache to complex ones like Tourette’s syndrome, from depression and anxiety to finding ways to embrace the idea of a new normal with a child being diagnosed on the spectrum. You could read more about her HERE.
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