Do not cross that line. However faint, however long, however close, however imaginary it may be, respect the line.
Why?
Your respect for that line is directly proportional to your respect for the person who drew the line.
How do we know when we step over that line? Or if a line is even there? Only a few of us have that rare intuition to know when that line is staring at us!
Examples:
Child: Mom/dad/whoever, please don’t indulge in PDA in front of my friends anymore. It is embarrassing.
This is the line. The child even gave you a reason for their line.
Respect that. Don’t do it. If you want them to respect your thoughts, your actions, or your boundaries, respect theirs.
Another one:
New Mom: Thank you so much for the thoughtful gesture, but I would like some more time to adjust to this new normal - can you visit us next month, please?
Everyone else should respect this. The mom clearly stated she needs time. So stay respectful and agree to visit later. When SHE is ready. Not when it’s convenient to you.
One more:
Mom: Sure, you can go to the neighbor’s house and play. Be back by 7:30 pm though.
STATE it as simply as that. Call fifteen mins ahead of time to remind the child it’s time to wrap up and head home. No drama. It’s factual.
Hopefully, the child is home on time, if not, you sit down and have a chat with your child.
Respect the line. Teach the child where your line was and how to respect it. With kids, we may need to repeat the lesson a few times.
Lastly,
Yourself: I have to go to this event. I don’t feel up to it. It’s not like I am an integral part of this event - I am just a guest.
This is your own line. Don’t force yourself to go if you don’t want to? Not to be whimsical but if you have a genuine reason why force yourself to do something that makes you uncomfortable?
Show respect to your own line.
Set more such boundaries and politely, kindly, enforce them.
This doesn’t make you a bad person. This makes you aware. This brings about a certain discipline and assertiveness. This gives access to a happier you.
Just as this can be a new thing in your life, remember, it can be a new thing for others in your life too so be patient as they come to know and love boundaries. Be accepting as they learn to set their own.
Start small. Start with yourself. Be patient.
Sweta Shah Sakhpara is a pranic energy therapist and a pranic psychotherapist. She also teaches mindfulness and meditation to kids, adults and families. When she is not doing any of the above, she actively practices being a mindful parent to two kids.
Having learned and practiced pranic healing for ~fifteen years, Sweta has been blessed with the trust of many clients for ailments as simple as a headache to complex ones like Tourette’s syndrome, from depression and anxiety to finding ways to embrace the idea of a new normal with a child being diagnosed on the spectrum. You could read more about her HERE.
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