It’s the question every homeschool parent dreads hearing, especially if you are new to the homeschool world. It is a frustrating and cumbersome question. How is a mom to answer it? How do you confidently bust that myth without sounding defensive or uncertain?
- The question typically comes from a place of caring or curiosity. The question isn’t meant to frustrate. Taking into consideration the intent of the question helps to take away that initial rush of embarrassment or anger. Most people don’t understand what a homeschool schedule is like but they think they do. After you take a deep breath, you can respond with a smile and grace.
- Do not feel the need to justify your schedule or your child’s personality with your response. We all know students who go to public school who are introverts and we all know students who are homeschooled that are extroverts. Home education allows a student the opportunity to be who they are with less judgment or bullying. Homeschooling an extrovert can present a certain set of challenges and homeschooling an introvert can present a different set of challenges. Don’t waste your time or energy explaining either to someone who just wants to make small talk. My response is usually, “My kids have many friends and enjoy spending as much time as possible with them.”
- Homeschooling offers choices. Three of my four are extremely extrovert and require copious amounts of time with their friends. One of my children has become more introverted with age and is very selective about her friends. When asked recently about her social life as it relates to homeschooling, she responded, “I feel like homeschooling offers me a chance to CHOOSE who I spend time with rather than being assigned.” I hadn’t thought about it that way, but I appreciated her view. I have a niece who went to a very large high school and didn’t have any close friends there. She had to seek her friends outside of her daily schedule and that required time she didn’t have. A large pool of people to select from doesn’t guarantee close friends.
- Public school is an artificial environment. NOWHERE in the adult world are we only placed with only our peer group. No first day on the job starts with, “And Mrs. Jones here are where the 25 year olds are working.” As adults we have to be able to interact with people of all ages either on the job or in our daily routines. Some jobs require the ability to work with the elderly or children or both. I’ve found homeschooled students are better able to interact with people outside of their peer group. My 18 year old daughter thanked me the other day for helping her learn how to have a conversation with a stranger. That isn’t natural for her and I never “gave her a lesson in conversations” but I’m a talker and she spent a LOT of time listening to me converse.
Having confidence in your choices goes a long way in pushing back the questions. You want them to learn their social skills from your lead. Homeschooling offers time and opportunity for that. I’ve heard some very snarky responses to this question but a kind response might encourage them to follow suit. A brief answer that fits your situation is the best to fight this myth!
Kathy Davis is a mom of four who began her homeschool journey in 2006 when her oldest started pre-school. In May 2021, she graduated her oldest. She is passionate about helping moms stay the homeschooling course while not losing themselves in the process. She mentors burnt-out moms and helps them not only survive but thrive! In April 2020, she launched kathyjilldavis.com and started working with Amare Global to offer practical support, solutions, and community for moms who don’t want to lose their dreams and passions during motherhood. Feel free to email her HERE.
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