I came across this term recently and delved deeper to learn what exactly this is… turns out that when people withhold intimacy and displays of affection from their significant others, they are projecting “Intimacy Anorexia” - akin to people who suffer from Anorexia withholding food - an act of control.
I was able to think of a few people I know that withhold affection from their kids. Either they are repeating a cycle - "I grew up without outward displays of affection and I turned out fine!" or "We don’t do this in our culture!" or even worse... "They know I love them, I don’t need to explicitly show them - it shows in the fact that I provide for the family!"
So, the point I am trying to make here is, deprivation of feelings isn’t helping anyone. You change as a person if you begin to withhold affection while at the same time, your family, your friends... everyone stops expecting you to show you care - not because they know you love them - but because they know you are incapable of showing them!
Death bed confessions? really..?? you spent twenty, thirty, forty years not telling people you loved them or you cared for them and one day you realize you should have - there is no time left now, is there?!
It is a mindset change. It will not happen overnight. It will need consistent efforts. It will need you to be brave because people will ridicule you but please know, they are silently in awe of you... again, they are withdrawing their praise from you (that is our conditioning) - they are practicing what this whole article is about. Why do you need to control it? What makes you think you can or should control someone else’s growth by withholding praise?
Let’s try to break the cycle. We, as a generation, are definitely more aware and more open to feelings and showing our feelings - so this should come easy to us.
Let’s try?
Sweta Shah Sakhpara is a pranic energy therapist and a pranic psychotherapist. She also teaches mindfulness and meditation to kids, adults and families. When she is not doing any of the above, she actively practices being a mindful parent to two kids.
Having learned and practiced pranic healing for ~fifteen years, Sweta has been blessed with the trust of many clients for ailments as simple as a headache to complex ones like Tourette’s syndrome, from depression and anxiety to finding ways to embrace the idea of a new normal with a child being diagnosed on the spectrum. You could read more about her HERE.
