Sometimes do you stop and think that is exactly what You don’t want to do? And yet it keeps repeating itself? How do we break the cycle?
A very wise friend of mine said, "Everything happens for a reason and the reason is that we learn the lesson that is to be learned. The quicker you learn it, the faster the cycle breaks."
I’ll give you a simple example.
As parents, we train our kids from the time they are little till we feel confident that they are independent. In that time, how many of us yell, get angry, rage and then repent? ALL OF US. I promise you that.
Some of us realize early on that this is not working... we need to find better ways to communicate what we want to.
Some of us shut down.
Some of us think it’s normal. We justify it by saying, “that’s how I was raised and I turned out fine.. “
Right?! Wrong!
See, that’s the pattern that needs to break. If you are yelling the way you were yelled at... you are repeating the pattern.
The lesson here is probably that, whatever the situation was, was a trigger for you.
In general, in parenting, the need for control is the trigger.
Your kid isn’t following what you said? You subconsciously realize you are losing control and that triggers you and pushes you to yell.
Now, what if, you took away that need within you, to control? Now what? You literally plucked the trigger out and threw it away.
If you are able to recognize areas where you can actually take that need away from the situation, there is literally nothing left behind for you to react to!
Bedtime was 9:30 pm, it’s 10 pm and the kids are still not asleep? Ok, fine, let them be sleepy in class tomorrow. Sooner or later they will realize - either the teachers will point it out or your child will feel tired sooner than normal. It’s a matter of 2-3 days.
The lesson is learnt. The kids are growing, they can’t be held to a rigid timetable. Let it go.
Now, where did the yelling go? Did it happen?
This is the lesson and this is what we need to recognize in each situation we are in as we all grow in our journeys.
I am yet to meet a parent who is completely in a zen state though, so remember to be kind to yourself. It’s a process, it takes training, it takes time. ❤️🙏
Sweta Shah Sakhpara is a pranic energy therapist and a pranic psychotherapist. She also teaches mindfulness and meditation to kids, adults and families. When she is not doing any of the above, she actively practices being a mindful parent to two kids.
Having learned and practiced pranic healing for ~fifteen years, Sweta has been blessed with the trust of many clients for ailments as simple as a headache to complex ones like Tourette’s syndrome, from depression and anxiety to finding ways to embrace the idea of a new normal with a child being diagnosed on the spectrum. You could read more about her HERE.
